tumblr you can keep your glorified nostalgia about the wild thornberries and tony hawk’s pro skater and getting to hold the flea-ridden stuffed lion during the d.a.r.e program and what have you because THIS right here. now THIS was the essence of the 90s
YOU’LL CALL NOW
oh man it took me literally 2 seconds of this video to remember exactly how the rest of it went
I hated this commercial. Turns out I still hate it.
OH MY GOD THIS DAMN COMMERCIAL
I CAN’T FUCKING STOP LAUGHING its as awful as i remembered it
i cant quite explain this commercial and how it came back to me like
i couldnt remember the exact words by heart but. everything they said chimed in my head like a song i’d heard a long time ago. it was almost rhythmic, buried deep in my memory. it was probably the most bizarre way ive ever remembered something.
The memories are flooding back
holy fuck i still remember this
HOW DO I FUCKING REMEMBER THIS SO WELL?!
At least 6 Ferguson officers apart from Brown shooter have been named in lawsuits.
Read this and decide for yourself if you can see a pattern.
Moving out of the apartment
This is, without a doubt, the saddest photo I have ever seen in my ENTIRE LIFE.
so my family and i were taking all these touristy pictures and then this guy offers to take a pic for us and we’re like yes please and then he takes the picture and gives us this
Like seriously, why isn’t pole dancing an olympic sport? This is freakin gymnastics. This is strength and skill. This is not sexual whatsoever. Why does pole dancing have to be so stigmatised as a sexual thing that only strippers do? I have great respect for all people who can pull this off. This is art and beauty right here.
HEY FUN FACT: pole dancing is known as something strippers do because strippers invented it. And that’s okay! It’s okay to have respect for strippers and the hard work they put into what they do! Let’s stop trying to take the stripper part out of pole dancing so upperclass white girls can do it without being ~stigmatized~ because god forbid women be sexual.
colored radiograph of a bat’s thorax and head
one word: cochlea
look at them
considering the human cochlea can sit comfortably on a penny, relative to its size, this bat has quite a set
these nocturnal mammals are exquisitely sensitive to high frequency sounds, particularly those self-generated for echolocation
in fact, the acoustic features of echolocation calls (frequency modulated sweeps, pulse interval, harmonic composition, etc) allow bats to differentiate between targets just millimeters apart
imagine what a crazy place their auditory cortex must be
So here’s the obligatory and super obnoxious gag-worthy sappy post I make every once in a while:
Having Ian back is really, really nice. We’ve been spending a lot of time just cuddling, and I like that a lot. Earlier this evening we were spooning with me as the big spoon and I had my arm around him and realized that I had temporarily forgotten that there was a living, breathing person lying next to me because it felt so natural and comfortable. Thus far he’s been the only guy I’ve ever really felt comfortable sleeping next to, and who I can actually fall asleep next to for more than an hour at a time.
This summer (when he was in Germany for three and a half months) was really, really rough on me, but now that he’s home I’m realizing that I’ve got a pretty good thing going. I’m pretty content in that aspect of my life and I’m lucky to have gotten such a solid dude.
Also OMFG HE HAS A WORKING CELL PHONE FUCKING FINALLY AND WE WERE ABLE TO TEXT INSTEAD OF EMAIL TODAY AND IT WAS FUCKING GLORIOUS.
But yeah, knock on wood, things there are really going well and I’m happy. It’s just so nice to have him home and be able to actually cuddle and spend time together and bang and watch Cosmos and cook for him and talk about things and did I mention cuddling? I reeeeeally missed that physical contact.
Okay enough late night rambling. He’s currently passed out next to me and I need to get to bed soon. Goodnight, Tumblr.
ETA: Not five minutes after I made this post, I got up to go to the bathroom and when I came back Ian had rolled over and spread himself out in the middle of the futon so I couldn’t lie back down. @_____@
The best costume spotted at Disneyland’s 10k race today. [adamlc6]
sure fire ways to piss off a hooker - ask for a discount
without even specifying what he wanted (which could warrant a discount. some guys just want cuddles after all) he immediately tried to pull the old 'but i'm attractive and think i don't need to pay for sex. because only ugly guys must do that'.
i’m rarely attracted to self proclaimed ‘fit cute’ guys so it’s no incentive to me
do you call up a plumber and say: 'hey, my toilet is blocked. but i do tiny little poos. they're quite adorable really. so can you do it for half price?”
do you call up a plumber and say: ‘hey, my toilet is blocked. but i do tiny little poos. they’re quite adorable really. so can you do it for half price?”
Possibly one of greatest commentaries ever on people trying to barter for sex .
- 1. We would miss you.
- 2. It’s not worth the regret. Either by yourself if you failed or just simply left scars, or the regret everyone else feels by not doing enough to help you.
- 3. It does get better. Believe it or not it will eventually get better. Sometimes you have to go through the storm to get to the rainbow.
- 4. There’s so much you would miss out on doing.
- 5. There is always a reason to live. It might not be clear right now, but it is always there.
- 6. So many people care, and it would hurt them if you hurt yourself.
- 7. You ARE worth it. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.
- 8. You are amazing.
- 9. A time will come, once you’ve battled the toughest times of your life and are in ease once again, where you will be so glad that you decided to keep on living. You will emerge stronger from this all, and won’t regret your choice to carry on with life. Because things always get better.
- 10. What about all the things you’ve always wanted to do? What about the things you’ve planned, but never got around to doing? You can’t do them when you’re dead.
- 11. I love you. Even if only one person loves you, that’s still a reason to stay alive.
- 12. You won’t be able to listen to music if you die.
- 13. Killing yourself is never worth it. You’ll hurt both yourself and all the people you care about.
- 14. There are so many people that would miss you, including me.
- 15. You’re preventing a future generation, YOUR KIDS, from even being born.
- 16. How do you think your family would feel? Would it improve their lives if you died?
- 17. You’re gorgeous, amazing, and to someone you are perfect.
- 18. Think about your favourite music artist, you’ll never hear their voice again…
- 19. You’ll never have the feeling of walking into a warm building on a cold day
- 20. Listening to incredibly loud music
- 21. Being alive is just really good.
- 22. Not being alive is really bad.
- 23. Finding your soulmate.
- 24. Red pandas
- 25. Going to diners at three in the morning.
- 26. Really soft pillows.
- 27. Eating pizza in New York City.
- 28. Proving people wrong with your success.
- 29. Watching the jerks that doubted you fail at life.
- 30. Seeing someone trip over a garbage can.
- 31. Being able to help other people.
- 32. Bonfires.
- 33. Sitting on rooftops.
- 34. Seeing every single country in the world.
- 35. Going on roadtrips.
- 36. You might win the lottery someday.
- 37. Listening to music on a record player.
- 38. Going to the top of the Eiffel Tower.
- 39. Taking really cool pictures.
- 40. Literally meeting thousands of new people.
- 41. Hearing crazy stories.
- 42. Telling crazy stories.
- 43. Eating ice cream on a hot day.
- 44. More Harry Potter books could come out, you never know.
- 45. Travelling to another planet someday.
- 46. Having an underwater house.
- 47. Randomly running into your hero on the street.
- 48. Having your own room at a fancy hotel.
- 49. Trampolines.
- 50. Think about your favourite movie, you’ll never watch it again.
- 51. Think about the feeling of laughing out loud in a public place because your best friend has just sent you an inside joke,
- 52. Your survival will make the world better, even if it’s for just one person or 20 or 100 or more.
- 53. People do care.
- 54. Treehouses
- 55. Hanging out with your soul mate in a treehouse
- 55. Snorting when you laugh and not caring who sees
- 56. I don’t even know you and I love you.
- 57. I don’t even know you and I care about you.
- 58. Because nobody is going to be like you ever, so embrace your uniqueness!
- 59. You won’t be here to experience the first cat world emperor.
- 60. WHAT ABOUT FOOD?! YOU’LL MISS CHOCOLATE AND ALL THE OTHER NOM THINGS!
- 61. Starbucks.
- 62. Hugs.
- 63. Stargazing.
- 64. You have a purpose, and it’s up to you to find out what it is.
- 65. You’ve changed somebody’s life.
- 66. Now you could change the world.
- 67. You will meet the person that’s perfect for you.
- 68. No matter how much or how little, you have your life ahead of you.
- 69. You have the chance to save somebody’s life.
- 70. If you end your life, you’re stopping yourself from achieving great things.
- 71. Making snow angels.
- 72. Making snowmen.
- 73. Snowball fights.
- 74. Life is what you make of it.
- 75. Everybody has a talent.
- 76. Laughing until you cry.
- 77. Having the ability to be sad means you have the ability to be happy.
- 78. The world would not be the same if you didn’t exist.
- 79. Its possible to turn frowns, upside down
- 80. Be yourself, don’t take anyone’s shit, and never let them take you alive.
- 81. Heroes are ordinary people who make themselves extraordinary. Be your own hero.
- 82. Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. It means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.
- 83. One day your smile will be real.
- 84. Having a really hot, relaxing bath after a stressful day.
- 85. Lying on grass and laughing at the clouds.
- 86. Getting completely smashed with your best friends.
- 87. Eating crazy food.
- 88. Staying up all night watching your favourite films with a loved one.
- 89. Sleeping in all day.
- 90. Creating something you’re proud of.
- 91. You can look back on yourself 70 years later and being proud you didn’t commit
- 92. Being able to meet your Internet friends.
- 93. Tea / Coffee / Hot Chocolate
- 94. Sherlock season three.
- 95. Cuddling under the stars.
- 96. Being stupid in public because you just can.
- 97. If you are reading this then you are alive! Is there any more reason to smile?
- 98. being able to hug that one person you havent seen in years
- 99. People care enough about you and your future to come up with 100 reasons for you not to do this.
- 100. But, the final and most important one is, just, being able to experience life. Because even if your life doesn’t seem so great right now, literally anything could happen
- IF that isn’t enough:
- Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
- Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
- LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
- Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
- Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
- Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
- Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
- Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
- Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
- Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
- Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453
- UK Helplines:
- Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org
- Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
- Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: email@example.com
- Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 firstname.lastname@example.org
- b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: email@example.com
- b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
- Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org
- Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
- Drinkline: 0800 9178282
- Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail email@example.com
- Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
- India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614
- India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669
- Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868, Free and available 24/7
- suicide hotlines;
- Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430
- Australia: 13-11-14
- Austria: 01-713-3374
- Barbados: 429-9999
- Belgium: 106
- Botswana: 391-1270
- Brazil: 21-233-9191
- China: 852-2382-0000
- (Hong Kong: 2389-2222)
- Costa Rica: 606-253-5439
- Croatia: 01-4833-888
- Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67
- Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908
- Denmark: 70-201-201
- Egypt: 762-1602
- Estonia: 6-558-088
- Finland: 040-5032199
- France: 01-45-39-4000
- Germany: 0800-181-0721
- Greece: 1018
- Guatemala: 502-234-1239
- Holland: 0900-0767
- Honduras: 504-237-3623
- Hungary: 06-80-820-111
- Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90
- Israel: 09-8892333
- Italy: 06-705-4444
- Japan: 3-5286-9090
- Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292
- Malaysia: 03-756-8144
- (Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)
- Mexico: 525-510-2550
- Netherlands: 0900-0767
- New Zealand: 4-473-9739
- New Guinea: 675-326-0011
- Nicaragua: 505-268-6171
- Norway: 47-815-33-300
- Philippines: 02-896-9191
- Poland: 52-70-000
- Portugal: 239-72-10-10
- Russia: 8-20-222-82-10
- Spain: 91-459-00-50
- South Africa: 0861-322-322
- South Korea: 2-715-8600
- Sweden: 031-711-2400
- Switzerland: 143
- Taiwan: 0800-788-995
- Thailand: 02-249-9977
- Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800
- Ukraine: 0487-327715